moody & sometimes offensive

Sex is the Answer

It’s not a question.

I’m not saying meet a stranger and go fuck them. Then again, if that’s your cup of tea, go for it. But for the sake of the people in your future who you’ll be fucking, use protection.

And don’t give me the stupid spill about “I hate condoms.” 1) No condom, no hook-up. 2) Sex with condoms is better than an STD/STI- especially one that you can’t cure.

Anyway.

I’m going through a phase. Or maybe I’m coming out of denial. Fuck if I know. I just cannot stop fighting with my boyfriend lately. I think I seriously need a break- to the point I’m most likely moving back in with my parents to get away.

Yes, I am too broke to afford my own place because despite being department manager at my job I make less than $10 dollars an hour and cannot fucking afford a place. Which means: mommy, daddy, you’re the best for leaving my old room empty for me. (I’m pretty sure it’ll be my room until I get married, but at the rate I’m going that isn’t going to happen.)

So yes, I keep fighting and then ignoring him. I love sex- like, I fucking love sex. I may have waited til I was twenty to have sex, but omg, I love it. But I went an entire week without sex, denying him. Granted, I was on my period, and then I led him to believe I was still on it for another three days.

Finally, I caved and fucked him. I wasn’t into it. Not with him. I don’t want to fuck him anymore. Because every time I do lately and I close my eyes, I’m not thinking about him. I’m thinking about someone else.

After another fight, I let myself pout a bit, then came to bed and quickly seduced him.

Sex makes him happy. Sex makes him think we’re okay. Sex makes him think I won’t leave.

But I want to leave. I am going to leave. It’s just a matter of when. And I hate myself for not being strong enough to just end it now.

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