Unfortunately, I’ve had three.
Or two and a half if you’d like. But for now, let’s just discuss the second one.
His name- well, we’ll just him Geoff (because it’s close to Get Off). We met at the bar. I was drinking too much, just having a good time. And trying to forget shit. Honestly, I don’t even remember how I ended up going home with him.
Next thing I know, I’m walking outside the bar with him, then I’m walking into a house…suddenly, he’s carrying me to the couch, my legs wrapped around his waist, and then I’m sitting in his lap. Being kissed frantically. I’d say passionately, but it was definitely more frantic than passionate.
My shirt was off…I don’t remember what happened next, just that he mentioned a condom, then got up. I laid down, ready to pass out, thinking “why the fuck does he need a condom?” Because apparently, even in my drunken stupor, I was still naïve enough to think sex wasn’t going to happen.
He puts it on, and pushes my legs apart and up. I don’t recall his size, bit it hurt when he entered me. I whimpered a little, so he stopped and asks for a blow job.
I’ve always been told if a girl sucks a random guy’s dick, she’s a slut. But c’mon, this was my second one-night stand, wasn’t I already a slut? I felt like one. I went from innocent virgin, to heartbroken and shattered. And once you have sex with someone you fell in love with, having sex with someone else is like a fight to tell yourself you didn’t really love them.
Or it could be that I was dealing with issues of being “raped”, and promiscuity is a way a lot of people to deal with it. I was told I needed therapy or something, by a doctor but I told her I was fine.
Anyway. Whatever the reason and whatever it makes me, I agreed to suck his dick. Not even five minutes into it, I was literally passing out and all I could think about was how I so did NOT want to be sucking this guy’s penis, and that I just wanted to sleep because I was so fucking tired.
So I looked up at him, and asked, “Can I please just go to sleep now?”
And I don’t remember anything else. Next thing I know, I’m waking up in bed, feeling like shit, and needing to vomit. I rushed to the bathroom.
I get back in bed, he wakes up, and fucks me. Just as I began to even get into it, he cums. I think he pulled out, I don’t know. I was still half drunk.
Needless to say, I was pissed. Like, really dude? You just shove your penis into me before getting me anywhere near the mood, then get off in five fucking minutes?
We never talked again.
I officially felt like a whore. An unpaid whore.