I dislike applying.
It’s not that I don’t want a new job, because I do. It’s not like I’m not a hard worker, self-motivated, or take pride in what I do, because I am, and I do take pride in doing an amazing job.
I just hate applying. Reentering in the same information. Spending time applying for a job when I have one, and the ones I’m applying for go nowhere.
I got my CNA back over the summer- I officially passed my state exam September 27th. I meant to immediately leave my current job and get started in it. I didn’t. A department manager position was opening up, and I wanted it. I got it. I do really enjoy it, don’t get me wrong. But helping people is my heart’s desire.
I really love being a department manager, and actually being able to be in complete charge of my department. I love working cosmetics. I take great pride in bettering my area.
But I keep thinking about my CNA, and how badly I want to start heading this way into the medical field. I don’t know what good I’ll be to anyone really, but I like to think I can make someone’s day just a little bit brighter by being there, and actually caring about them.
I still miss my residents from my clinical hours. And it’s been August since I last seen them. I remember how even the grouchy ones were happy to see me, sad when I told them I wouldn’t be there the next day. And utterly disappointed I wouldn’t be coming back.
I miss the barest of smiles I received even as they tried to reject me.
I want to be a CNA now.