Daily Prompt post today.
I could do more than just one song that transports me back to another time, but I’ll just do one.
Head Over Feet by Alanis Morissette.
This song is not only one of my favorite songs, but it also takes me back to when things were fun with John Doe.
We were drinking, listening to Pandora, playing a game. My sister had gone to the bathroom, and I was laying on the couch. He was coming back from the kitchen when this song is playing.
I’m just like, “I love this song!” and sing along. He smiles, and listens to it. Then “you’re my best friend, best friend with benefits” comes on and he stares at me. “Don’t be surprised if I love you, for all that you are, I couldn’t help it, it’s all your fault” it plays on.
“That’s us,” he says.
My heart just about stops. I manage a nod and a smile. He finally acknowledged we made it past just fuck buddies to something more. It never was meant to last, but even if for just a little while, we did both share the same feelings. That went deeper than sex. Did he love me like I loved him? No, not at all. (If he did, he woulda done things differently.) Am I okay with that? Yeah, I am now.
I try to pretend when I hear this song that I don’t think of him, but I do. Every.single.time. I picture the way he stared at me, the way my heart raced as the meaning of his words and the song sinks in. Listening to it now doesn’t make me sad, that is true. But the memories are there still. Will they ever go away? I don’t know. You tell me.