I hear it is,
but then I hear it’s not.
Sometimes being too nice is a weakness. Just when I think I’m no longer nice, I am far too nice.
I broke up with my boyfriend. That’s not nice. But I’ve had dinner with him twice this past week, and lunch at least once. Since our break up, I’ve probably seen him almost every other day.
How the fuck is he suppose to understand this? I break up with him, but then am still seeing him. Don’t get me wrong, I do want to be friends and hang out- once in awhile. Not as much as we are. But I already hurt him by breaking up. That was hard enough. So instead of just pulling back, I’m agreeing to see him.
I think I’m being nice, but it’s nice. Because in the end his feelings will be hurt.
But that’s not it. There’s more.
A huge fight took place amongst a friend and her boyfriend. I ended up taking her car and giving him a ride home (our friend took my car and took our friend back to her house). He ranted and raved- he was so fucked up. I shoulda yelled at him, been a total bitch for upsetting my friend.
But I wasn’t. I let him rant, I was calm, maybe to the point of caring. I did defend her if he said anything negative about her. Then in his drive, he asks why I’m being so nice to him.
I guess because I was trying to calm him down. And secondly because being nice is who I am. Even if you don’t deserve it.
I haven’t spoken to him since. I’ve talked to my friend once. The whole thing is a big mess.
And I guess that’s really it. No real point to this. Maybe I’m not nice at all. Maybe I just don’t like drama so I try to avoid it.