Road Rage

I admit I’m an aggressive driver.

I follow these rules:

– When turning, use your blinker

– When entering an interstate from an exit ramp, use your blinker

– When switching lanes, use your blinker

– When exiting the interstate/highway/whatever, use your blinker

Basically, use your fucking blinker.

It pisses me off to no end when somebody just starts slowing down, to next to no speed and then turning. It takes half a damn second to flip your blinker on. Not to mention it gives notice to anyone behind you that you’re about to slow down. It gives any cars wanting to come out from where you’re turning notice, as well.

I always use my blinker. I think the only times I don’t are when there is nobody around and/or I’m turning  down my parent’s street- which is a gravel street, and again, nobody is behind me, in front of me head-on, or leaving the street I’m entering.

Secondly I do not have to let you over. Get that? I do not have to let you in front of me. Oh, you’re jumping on the interstate? Great, but you have to yield, not me. So get behind me, bitch. I’m already going 70mph, I’m not slowing to 50mph to let you over. You can get behind me. (I scoot over into the left lane if I can, but that isn’t always possible.)

You cut me off, I will tailgate your ass.

You tailgate me, I will slow down next to another vehicle and keep you back there, while playing brake check with you. I don’t care about my car, so if you wreck, well, I don’t really care. You’ll be the one hitting my backend, which puts you at fault. Plus, you’re not allowed to tailgate either- you can receive tickets for that. Kiss my ass. And my reason for this is because when people tailgate me, I am always going the speed limit, and usually 3-5mph over. Don’t tailgate someone going the speed limit.

You flip me off, I’ll wave back with a smile on my face. Because you’re an idiot, and I don’t give a fuck if you’re angry.

And trust me, smiling and waving realllly gets their goat. I love doing it, it’s awesome.

So yes, I am a bitchy driver. But if you use your fucking blinkers, do not cut me off (seriously, if I’m going 70mph and you’re going 60mph and want pass someone, don’t cut me off like that- half of them don’t bother using a blinker either. And pulling out in front of me from a side street is just stupid. I’ll be zipping by in another three seconds, you can wait.) and understand that your yield sign means to fucking yield because I have the right away, we’ll get along just fine.

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