Just Being Yourself

It’s quite nice.

So, several months ago I broke up with my boyfriend, even moved out. Somehow, within a matter of days we ended up back together. And in June he moved in with me. I really hate sharing my apartment, too. But that’s not the point.

There I am, in the kitchen of my apartment tonight, just finished making a turkey and cheese sandwich after work, and he’s playing his online game. Yes, his computer desk is set up in the kitchen because my living room is a little crowded right now.

I am about to go for the bottle of mountain dew he has next to him, when this loud burp just erupts from within me. He just turns his head, looks at me, and says, “drinking all my mountain dew.”

Seriously, it made just stop. I’m like, whoa. What the actual fuck. Here’s a man who loves me so much that he puts up with my unladylike burps, my crazy wild hair (anybody with curly hair can testify to exactly how horrendous it can be sometimes), make-up smudged face in the mornings, or no make-up faced me- which as of late, has been frequent.

I’ve puked on him- actually that was the night we met, but I’ll save that night for a later date. He’s seen me literally at my worst, but yet, there he is. Playing games in my kitchen right now.

We’re not perfect together. I’m not as sure about our future as he is. We fight, we argue. But we’re also open and honest. And I know some people would rather have a new hook-up every weekend, and experience the new rush over and over. And I guess that’s okay, but I don’t know. I really rather like being able to just be ME, no matter how fucked up, messy, stupid, or anything else unattractive, and knowing my man still loves ME. I really like the fact I don’t have to pretend.

I like that I don’t have to shave every single (or other) day. I like that I don’t have to always do my face. I like that I don’t have to always dress up. Right now I’m in a hoodie and baggy superman pants, and my hair in a messy bun from a long day at work, yet he’ll glance at me and smile lovingly.

The day before my birthday, I shaved, got all smooth and silky. I did my make-up, I wore a dress and boots. And we went on a date. We had dinner, then walked around, and ended up browsing through Barnes & Noble.

It was nice.

It was perfect.

I enjoy dressing up, but I also enjoy being messy. And I love that I can do both with him.



  1. It’s always a comfort to know why you’re with someone. Too often people wake up one day and wonder how the fuck they ended up where they are, and what the hell they ever saw in the person they woke up beside.

    Thank you for sharing.


  2. There’s something wonderful in being partnered with someone who you feel completely comfortable with to the point where you can just be yourself, warts and all, and know that they still love you and probably wouldn’t want you any other way. Humans aren’t perfect. Women don’t magically look great all the time. It takes a lot of maintenance to look good. It’s nice though to not have to worry about that. The movie “This Is 40” had me in stitches because it rings true!


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