Third One Night Stand

I’ve actually mentioned it before.

My third one night stand was with the guy who had a fat dick and called me a virgin.

It was March, 2013, only a few long months since John Doe left me (why does everything go back to him? Fuck.). I was at the bar I was going to every weekend- and that makes me realize all three guys I hooked up with were from meeting them at that bar. And to think I still go there… Thankfully, only one randomly still goes.

Anyways. I was sitting at the bar, drinking whatever it was I drank back then, and he kept making eye contact with me. When he left, he slid me his name and number, and I was drunk-ish, and when the bar closed I really didn’t feel like going home. So against my better judgment, I texted him. And went over.

He met me outside, and I must have been drunker than I realized because I legit do not remember where the fuck I went. We go inside, and sit awkwardly on the couch, just kinda talking. And that’s when I knew it was mistake.

I wasn’t drunk enough. At all.

His voice was annoying, he laughed way too much for a guy (I guess that sounds rude, but for real, he laughed at everything! If I said it, he laughed, if he said it, he laughed.). He took off his hat and he was just…ugly.

I went ahead and went with the kissing.

Again, I wasn’t nearly drunk enough.

His kisses were wet, slobbery. He was eating my face.

Somehow I still stayed. I let myself be taken to the bedroom. He pushed me down, and pushed my legs up, and he went down on me. And okay, I won’t lie. He was fucking awesome. The best oral sex I’ve ever had. Granted, my experience with it from John Doe left me feeling pretty amazing too, but I was so damn shy that it left me feeling awkward, too, and I didn’t enjoy it as much as I could have.

And then besides my boyfriend now, I haven’t had much experience with a guy going down on me.

After I got off, he asked if I’d suck his dick. I declined. I felt like maybe I shouldn’t, but on the other hand, I so didn’t want to be pressured either, and do what I didn’t want. Last time I sucked a random guy’s penis, I felt horrible. I felt like such the slut. I made a promise to myself I wouldn’t do that again, and so I refused even when he begged.

I then told him he needed a condom. He all pretended he knew that, and was going to use one. But even as he put it on, he’s complaining about how it doesn’t feel as good, and he won’t get off, blah blah.

Then he went in, and his dick was just so fat. So short. It hurt, and he saw me flinch, so he’s like “omg, you’re a virgin!”

That pissed me off, although I’m not sure why. “No, I’m not.”

That’s when he started laughing, all proud of his fat, stubby penis. “I guess the past guy must have been really small.”

Excuse me? The past “guy”? I had been with more than one (again, not sure why I cared…), and secondly, I had loved John’s penis. It was perfect.

I was done. I got up, and started dressing. He asked if I’d wanna do it again, and I’m just like, yeah…I don’t think so.

For months, he’d keep texting me, asking me to hook up. I told him I had a boyfriend (I met him a month later). He still asked. He’d see me at bars, and just fucking stare.

Finally, he’s stopped. And I haven’t seen him in awhile. But damn.


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