How I Feel

A poem.

I hate this feeling

of not belonging

And of jealousy

I lost in love

He has a baby with someone else

I lost to my sister

Who never wanted a husband and family

and has just that- my dream

And I have just myself to blame

Loving the wrong man,

even despite the sexy smile

Then there’s me wasting time

On a guy who isn’t sure he even wants another child

And every time I try to leave,

I feel guilted into staying

Even when it kills me to stay

and endure the unhappiness it gives me,

I don’t leave

I wrote it over the summer, and yeah I know it could be better, blah blah. But basically, it was me writing one night, letting out how I felt.

I also know I shouldn’t stay with him if I know it’s wrong. Sure, sometimes you’re not sure, but when once you are sure, I know you should end the relationship. I just find it really hard to hurt someone. And if I do, I want to fix it. But you can’t, not when you’re breaking their heart.

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