A New Normal

I am now 31 weeks pregnant. I’m not trying to count down the weeks- but it’s kind of happening without me being able to stop. I’m really excited to meet my little girl face-to-face, to hold her tiny self in my arms.

I am enjoying being pregnant now though. It only took me til about 24-26 weeks to really start enjoying it. Living with the (ex)-boyfriend was just so stressful, that I wasn’t really enjoying it. I am now though. And feeling her move, wow.

Anyway.

Being pregnant also takes some getting used to. I’m a small girl, and I could always fit through the narrowest of places. I could get down on the floor, and jump right back up. My balance was perfect.

I’m a CNA, and that’s a lot of physical work. I’d squeeze past broda-chairs, get on the floor to plug a bed remote back in, bend over to put socks or shoes or a “pull-up” on someone, transfer a shaky resident no problem.

Yeah. Well, even though I’m not very big, getting down requires a moment to think about standing back up. Transferring shaky residents can be scary because my balance isn’t what it was. As for squeezing through narrow spaces? Yeahh, no sucking in a baby bump!

I can’t run down the hall to grab a change of clothes or something. The idea of walking down the hall tires me out. And I typically walk- the pregnant walk. The waddle. I can’t help it. I’m just so tired. I’m an energetic person, it’s so weird to have no energy.

One day I was driving home from I don’t recall where, and thought to myself, “I can’t wait to have her and have everything go back to normal.”

Then it hit me. While sure, I’ll get some energy back, my balance should return, I won’t have a bump protruding from my abdomen, blah blah, “normal” will never return. At least the normal I had. I will find a new normal.

Because having a baby changes your normal. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just something I realized. Sometimes adapting to change is hard for me. I don’t always dislike change, because I know it is a good thing, but yeah, if I’m honest it can be hard for me.

I will have a new normal, and it’ll take some adjusting to. Even though I’m excited and being a mom is something I’ve always wanted, it’ll still take adjusting. That’s just the way it is. Having a baby is a huge change.

And your normal will not be the same. You’ll find a new normal. And that’s perfectly okay.

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