A run in with a lover

I went out with some of my daughter’s dad’s family for dinner at a bar and pool hall place, and on my way out, ran into Lee. Quick update: He had ended up texting me, and then a few nights later I found a sexy outfit and sent him a photo. After about three weeks of no contact, I’d done a lot of thinking. I came to the conclusion, I am not ready for a relationship. I want sex. I let my friends opinions get to me and make me unhappy.

Anyway. After we left, her aunt offered to keep my baby so I could go back out and I accepted. I didn’t say hi when I went back though, I walked right past him. He came up to me, and invited me to play pool with him and his friends. I didn’t say no, but I didn’t ever go over either. I went out to hang out my daughter’s dad’s family, and I wasn’t going to just ditch them the second I got there.

As the night got later, he disappeared, and I thought he left. I waited about 10 minutes before shooting a text and asking if he left. He said no, and he’s not leaving without me. That was hot. Except then he came over a little later, and goes “you ready?” when I was talking to someone. He wasn’t rude to him, but he definitely wasn’t very friendly. I thought maybe he was jealous…Who knows.

We go to his house, and he jumps in the shower. I climb in bed, and throw my clothes on the floor. He gets in bed, plays a movie. I get up to get a drink, and he sees then I’m naked. He approved. And then the fun happened. He didn’t tie me up, unfortunately, but I did carry bruises on my ass the next day.

And that’s that. I didn’t regret it. Until the other day. I texted maybe three times since (once because it was his birthday), and he responds but he hasn’t texted first. I’m back to no texting him. I am okay with sex. But I’m not okay with being ignored. Like…use me if you will, because I was using you too, but at least send me a damn text so I don’t feel so low.

Ugh. Games. I hate them. I also don’t know how to play them very well.

Needless to say, I got on Fetlife. I am not done exploring, and while I trust him, and wish I could explore with him, I’m not sitting on the sidelines. I went to a social gathering at a bar of other fetlife members. And goodness, it was great. I’ve never been so readily welcomed into a group before. I had been talking to someone from fetlife who walked in with me, but after I got vetted for the play space in my area, I couldn’t find him right away so I went in and a group welcomed me over to join them. It was fun. I hope to go again.

And I definitely want to go to the dungeon.

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