Finally Over

For all my talk of ending it with Lee, I never did. I did go six months without seeing him, and continued to find excuses whenever he invited me over. But after six months, I finally caved. I saw him. He took me to dinner, shopping- fucking made me feel like a damn princess. The attention was awesome. Except he still had a girlfriend. But they were open! Or so he said. I actually briefly met her at a concert, and I doubted they were open then because she was clingy. She also seems to be totally in love with him.

We hung out two more times, and then boom- he sends me a snapchat and says he was cheating on her with me, that they were not open, and he will not continue talking to me, and ends it with “sorry I’m a selfish prick.” Like, what the actual fuck?

I’m a dumb ass and said something about “I’m sorry it has to end this way but I had a lot of fun so thank you for that, bye.”

A huge part of me feels relief it is over. Like, finally over and done. Another part of me is pissed I even caved in and saw him. Why the fuck did he insist on seeing me after so many months if they weren’t open? I kept saying no…I tried to respect the relationship, even if they were open (but they weren’t).

Why do that to me? Why end something that lasted 2.5 years through a fucking snapchat? Aren’t I worth more than that? I wanted to end it so many times, but I refused to do it through a text (a snap!), anything that wasn’t face to face. Of course, I never could end it face to face. But I still felt I owed him that much. Apparently he didn’t think so highly of me as I did of him.

It is over. Finally over.