There were so many things
I wanted to say to you
but I didn’t
And I don’t know why
Now my chance has come and gone
You’ve moved on
And I’m nothin’ but a distant memory
I watched you go
I stood there, right there
for so long
Wishing like hell you’d turn around
and I could say everything
But you never looked back
I’m turning around
walking away
Finding myself along the way I lost it
You did a number on my heart
It still cares for you
It still longs for you
And no matter what I do or say
I still look back
hoping to see you
But you’re gone from me for forever
you left me for someone else
I was nothing more than a good time
so innocent and trusting
I was easy for you to trick
blind to the game you played
Thanks for these scars now on my heart
Does it ever even bother you
or was I just another win
Every time the pain starts to become too much
I remind myself
that all those things you said to me were lies
I never lost anyone who cared about me
It’s a good thing you’ve gone
’cause now I can move on
nice
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very nice poem, I like how simple you kept the language so that we didn’t have to guess on any meanings, we just focus on the message and emotion. On that note, you should consider using feelings or actions instead of statements. For example: “I was easy for you to trick” or “but you never looked back” both are facts that tell the reader what happened, but perhaps you should show the reader what happened instead.
Here is a reference for what I mean:
http://www.novel-writing-help.com/writing-a-narrative.html
Visuals like this would help me to engage in your poem not just by knowing what you thought, but what you felt and saw. Great poem, keep at it!
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Thank you for reading, and taking the time to comment! I appreciate it. Thanks for the link, I really enjoyed reading over it. I’ll keep that in mind for future poems, and in other writings. As for this one, it is finished, and I know showing is better than telling… There’s several poems that link to this one, and a story behind it. So I guess in writing it, telling just worked better for this poem- for me.
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Yup, all comments are only for the possible future, your poem was how you made it and I wouldn’t change it only learn from it. 🙂
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