Confused Minds

Leads to jumbled thoughts.

I hear so much of “it’s my body, my choice”, “you’re not a woman, you have no right”, “unless you experience it, you can’t talk”, “it doesn’t involve you, so keep your mouth shut”, “the woman didn’t want to be a mother after all, and nobody can make her. It’s her decision.”, etc.

And I just sit here, thinking, to what extent does this go??

My body, my choice. Got’cha. But, how far does your choice triumph? Where does this mantra end? I’m not sitting behind my laptop screen being sarcastic, I am actually wondering.

There are restrictions. Sure, it’s my body, my choice, but there are still restrictions. Drugs (the illegal ones, even then you need a prescription for others). Drinking and driving. Your choice to drink, but there are/can be consequences to driving.

You have sex, pregnancy can happen. Maybe it wasn’t your choice to get pregnant, but your choice to participate in sex led to now pregnancy. So then it becomes “my body, my choice” and it’s perfectly A-OK to have an abortion. But what about the new life now rapidly growing in your womb?

“If I’m forced to stay pregnant, I’m just an incubator.” No, not at all. You are still a wonderfully unique woman who created life. But in the name of “empowerment” you want an abortion. How does killing the fetus empower women?

You’re not a woman, you have no right. I’m calling bullshit on this one. First all, women of the pro-choice stance are gung-ho with pro-choice men joining in on their right to abortion on demand cause. That’s why women are okay with the fact it was men who legalized abortion.

But abortion doesn’t affect just women. It affects men. And you can’t admonish pro-life men, without being highly hypocritical for letting, encouraging even, pro-choice men to take a stand.

Think about slavery. It didn’t affect whites, but whites took a stand opposing it. Were they in the wrong since, ya know, they weren’t slaves, and they had no right?

“The woman didn’t want to be a mother after all, and nobody can make her. It’s her decision.”

What about the couple who decided on creating a family? Why doesn’t the father get a say? Because it forces her to become an “incubator”? They decided together on the family, yet she alone gets to decide to end it? But that’s perfectly okay, isn’t it? Her body, her choice. Who cares how he feels.

But turn the table, and he no longer wants to be a father after all. Except he can’t get the abortion. He’s either stuck with a child and the responsibility he doesn’t want, or he can sneak her the abortion pill- and then face criminal charges.

Which brings me to this: how can it be criminal charges if it was just a “blob of tissue” and “not alive” anyway? How can it be double homicide if someone kills a woman and her unborn child? How can this be? Why the huge double standard?

If a woman decides to have an abortion for whatever reason, she gets away with it, and it’s perfectly okay, because she did the right thing for herself.

If a father decides he wants her to have an abortion, he’s suddenly a deadbeat dad, a horrible person, etc.

A woman gets an abortion, and is done. A man wants the abortion, but can’t have it. But is stuck paying for the child. It amazes me how it’s so okay for it be so messed up.

Unless you experience it, you can’t talk. Again, whites spoke against slavery, yet weren’t slaves. I never experienced child abuse, but I can for sure speak out against it. Nobody who says abortion is wrong is saying your situation is easy. (At least I hope as pro-lifers we can acknowledge that.)

Can we say for sure what we would do if in a horrible situation and ended up pregnant? No, I guess not. But some people truly do know themselves, and I personally know that no matter my situation, I would not abort my child. I just wouldn’t. Yell at me, tell me whatever it is you need to, but it won’t change my stance. Because I know myself.

It doesn’t involve you, so keep your mouth shut. A lot of things do not personally involve your neighbor, the community, the state, or whatever. Take for instance, that meth head next door. But he can be dangerous, so it kinda might involve you. You might want to look out for the people around you, and get the police involved.

That man beating his dog? Nah, it doesn’t involve you. But you care, don’t you? So you step in.

You find out your daughter’s classmate is being physically beaten, raped. It doesn’t concern you. But you step in.

No, your neighbor seeking an abortion doesn’t involve you, but again, it concerns you. You step in.

Just because it isn’t you personally, doesn’t mean you don’t care. Doesn’t mean you’re not affected.

So yeah, pro-lifers step in. Yeah, we want to change this abortion on demand. It isn’t about forcing our view on you, it isn’t about hating women. It’s because we care. And I know some random stranger’s abortion doesn’t involve me, but neither does the random stranger beating his dog involve me either.

I thought I understood the pro-choice side pretty well, but I read blogs, articles- and I’m just left with this. (All of the above.) I’m not close-minded, quite open-minded actually, but I just cannot grasp some of these quotes.

I’m going to close here in a minute, but I would also like to add that changing the abortion laws won’t change hearts. It won’t suddenly make unwanted pregnancies cease. It won’t make bad situations better. But rather than offering abortion to get rid of unwanted pregnancies, we step up and pitch in to help.

Instead of offering abortion to a woman being abused, we get her away from her abuser.

Instead of offering abortion to a teenaged girl whose parents gave her an ultimatum, we take her in.

Abortion truly has become an “easy” fix. It didn’t take away the problems. It didn’t empower women.

 

*This is a long post for me, and I thank you to those who actually read it to the end. I can’t promise I won’t ever post another entry about abortion again, so bear with me. Or don’t. But it is my blog, and I tend to share what’s on my mind, soo. Yeah, this topic may come up again. But for now, I think I got the majority of it out of my brain. These five quotes are the five I just can’t seem to wrap my head around. So this is me, thinking…And I know my above arguments can be counter-argued, but I seriously haven’t heard one that made enough sense for me to reconsider my stance on this.

I Just Don’t Care

If anyone agrees with me.

It’s rather odd, my personality. Like, I get shy, and self-conscious when trying to dance (probably because I just can’t dance worth shit), but when it comes to my opinions, my beliefs- I don’t give a rat’s ass if anybody agrees with me. I have no problem whatsoever being the only one in my group, or anywhere, that feels strongly about something.

Like, gun rights for an example. I was talking to somebody who was all gung-ho for taking guns away from everyone. The people around us felt the same. Yet I, this 100lb girl with what I get called, an innocent face, just opens her big mouth. And I defend gun rights. Omg! How dare I break the mold (of the surrounding people)! But I did.

And I didn’t care nobody was backing me up. I don’t need back up. I don’t need anyone else to agree with me. As long as I do what I feel is right, then I am good to go. As long as I don’t just blindly believe what someone tells me, but rather search for my own answer- I’m good.

People say guns kill people. But no, a fucking gun doesn’t kill anyone. Somebody, a person, holding the gun, is the one who pulls the fucking trigger and kills someone.

To deny every person a right to own a gun because SOME people abuse their right, is ridiculous. Why? Because we don’t take away all cars because some people drive drunk. NO! Rather we punish the one driving drunk.

We don’t ban all baseball bats or knives because somebody beats or stabs someone (to death). NO! Again, we punish the wrong-doer. So tell me why the fuck we take away all guns because some idiot takes a gun and shoots someone?

Criminals still gunna commit crimes. They’re still gunna get their hand on a gun. They’re still gunna kill somebody. Take away guns, and they’ll find another object.

All these anti-gun activists are doing is unarming law-abiding people. (Okay, some may break the law, but they’re not killers.)

I just don’t care if people agree with me or not. As long as they have actually given a fucking thought to their side, AND the other side, I can respect their decision to be against guns. Even if it is silly. Sorry, had to say it.

The difference between me and a lot of other people is I actually understand the “other side” and argue from their point of view before I just hop onto the wagon I choose.

Did I just decide to be pro-gun? No. I “went to the anti-gun side” and argued against guns. Did I just decide to be pro-life? No, I went to the pro-choice side, and argued against the pro-life arguments.

So there it is. I don’t care if anyone agrees with me. And if you excuse me, I am in withdraws of Chicago Fire, and Kelly Severide, so I must go.

The Big Abortion

Arguments Against Abortion

I’ve been searching blogs about abortion. I’ve been reading, even commented on a few. But none stirred this post more than this one. She gives a good argument, she’s thought over her opinions. Yet, I feel that there’s a perfectly good response to every.single.one of her reasons for being “pro-choice.”

Which let me touch on that real quick. Pro-choice and pro-abortion are, indeed, the same. Pro-lifers get called anti-abortion all the time, so how does pro-choice and pro-abortion not connect? Further on this though, not everyone who is anti-abortion is pro-life. All pro-lifers are anti-abortion, but anti-abortion is just that: against abortion. Pro-lifers go beyond just being against abortion. They care about the mom, the baby past birth. They’re for life in general.

Pro-choice is for abortion being legalized. It is for abortion. Are all pro-choicers abortion crazy? No, of course not. But pro-choice is pro-abortion. You are for the choice of choosing abortion.

Now, I’m going to address her arguments for abortion by arguments against abortion.

“Abortion is not murder until the third trimester.” The reason? Life doesn’t begin until the third trimester. Which is a lie. Science clearly states life begins at conception.

“The Official Senate report on Senate Bill 158, the “Human Life Bill,” summarized the issue this way:

Physicians, biologists, and other scientists agree that conception marks the beginning of the life of a human being—a being that is alive and is a member of the human species. There is overwhelming agreement on this point in countless medical, biological, and scientific writings.”

If that quote isn’t enough for you, Google it.

Read stories about women who go into early labor, say 19 weeks, and her baby is born alive. Its lungs are too underdeveloped, and  we can’t save one so young, but watch the baby struggle to breathe before, finally, death takes over. That baby was alive. You cannot tell anyone any differently. You can’t say it wasn’t alive, that it wasn’t human. Well, you can. But that’d be a lie.

And no, it’s not “murder” by legal definition. But abortion is most definitely killing a baby. Fetus. Whatever fits your fancy. Abortion does kill.

“Roe v Wade.” First off, slavery was once legal. Shall we then just accept slavery? No, we ended it. (Sort of. Slavery still exists today. But should it be legal? Fuck no.)

Let me also inform you that abortion is legal up to all nine months of pregnancy. And not just for “emergency situations.” Unless you call deciding you no longer want you baby an emergency. Or that having Down’s Syndrome is an emergency.

“It’s not my body, and it’s not my mind.” No, it’s not your mind. But that baby- fetus- she’s aborting is not her “body” either. A baby is not a tumor, it’s not tonsils, or wisdom teeth you’re having extracted. A baby is a new little human, growing in your womb because that’s where human life starts. Sex=reproduction. Obviously I understand sex isn’t always engaged in for reproduction reasons, but anyone with an ounce of knowledge of such things, knows sex is what causes pregnancy, a new life to begin.

Women can’t even choose to sell sex, without getting in trouble for it. Because it’s illegal. It’s her body, and hey, she just wants some cash. But using her body to earn cash is illegal. A woman cannot inject heroin into her body without facing prison time if caught.

Omg! Women can’t choose what to do with their body, there’s fucking limitations on it!!

“Making abortions illegal will not stop abortion.” Um no. But even legal abortion is not safe. Legal abortion stills harms women. It still kills women. Again, heroin is illegal. But people still use it. Let’s just make it legal, okay? Sounds good right.

People still kill their neighbor, let’s just make murder legal, okay?

Adults still molest children, but hey it’s illegal and still happens, so let’s legalize that.

People abuse their animals and kids, despite facing time for it if caught. But hey, let’s just make it entirely legal so our legal system gets to take a nap from all this crime.

Legal does not make it safe. Legal does not make it right. The law does not dictate what is right and wrong. I mean, if it does it means abortion was once wrong. Omg, y’all changed the law! Y’all changed wrong and right! That’s incredible.

Abortion is already dangerous to women. Except nobody hears about the damaged uterus, and the woman who can never have children after her abortion.

Nobody hears about the 15 year old girl who is repeatedly raped by her uncle, and Planned Parenthood covers up the rape by performing abortion after abortion and never alerting the authorities.

Nobody hears about the woman who desperately wants her baby but her husband forces her to have the abortion, and every day it haunts her.

Abortion is harmful. It is dangerous.

“Adoption isn’t the best option in all cases.” Our foster care system is so fucked up. But how dare it be said MOST kids adopted end up abused. That is so beyond true, it’s sickening. Children born into families end up abused, too. Just because someone is adopted does not mean they’re abused.

Secondly, should we kill these children in the system because they’re going to abused, and they shouldn’t have been born anyway? No, just fuck no. Parents are the ones who should be accountable, not these children. “Oh, mommy doesn’t want you, so let’s just kill you.” That doesn’t work when her baby is 2 years old, so why should it work when she’s pregnant?

Don’t want a baby but found yourself pregnant? Take the 9 months to search for an adoptive family. Make it an open adoption so you can check in on your baby.

So many of the kids in the system are there because parents are fucked up, and won’t fix up their life to actually be parents.

I don’t “respect” the choice to abort. I respect women. But abortion is killing, and I don’t respect killing. Do I hate or judge the woman who had an abortion? No, I don’t. Actually, my heart breaks for her, and the little life now gone.

Roe v Wade legalized abortion on demand. Abortion for any and whatever reason. Before Roe v Wade, abortions were still available in “emergency situations” (to save the life of the mom).

Abortion is not safe, for mom or baby. Abortion covers up abuse. Abortion scars, physically and emotionally.

Dear Prolife Crazies

The letter began.

I know this may come as a shock to you so you may want to go grab a bible for some support… as long a women have been getting pregnant, they’ve been having abortions. You’re fighting a pointless battle. No matter if you out law it and bomb every clinic in the world, abortion will still happen. …Always has always will. Period. So really stop bitching over something that will never change. Please, use all that effort and fix something that can change, like world hunger, or the economy.

Love, Pro-Choice.” ~Jessica G.

A complete copy of what was written by this Jessica, who I have no idea is.

My letter in response:

Dear Pro-Choicers,

You said “pro-life crazies.” First off, I am not a crazy person for being pro-life. Yes, some can be kinda nuts. But um, so are some pro-choicers. You got some crazies pretty much on every side of anything, ya know?

Secondly “grab a bible for support”, some pro-lifers are not Christian, Catholic or of any religion really. While yes, most pro-lifers do believe in God, not every single one does. And some even get annoyed when God is brought up. You don’t have to believe in God or religion to know that abortion is wrong.

 Thirdly, it’s not a “pointless battle”. Every life saved is a win. It may be a never-ending battle, but we have small victories. Never give up in fighting for the unborn. Again, every life saved is worth the battle. 

 Granted, abortion even before being legal was happening. Much less though. And if we ban it, it will still happen. But much less. Yeah, there will still be abortions, but it won’t be abortion-on-demand.

 As for “use all that effort and fix something that can change, like world hunger” I can only say world hunger will always be around. We can try to fix it, but we can’t. It’s a fallen world, and we can try to feed everyone, but we really can’t. It’s sad, I know. It hurts thinking of all those starving children. We can try and feed them all, but we’ll never reach every single one. I guess you could call that a “pointless battle” as well. But we’re still gunna keep trying. Every child fed is a small victory.

 “Or the economy”. Huh…I thought our president Obama promised that for us.

Love, Pro-life

Please note the sarcasm in the last line.

 

Ok so, I know abortion is legal. I get that. But did you know that with the legalization of abortion child abuse has risen?

Did you know that it’s like 3% of abortions are due to hard cases (like, rape, incest, mother’s health/life and medical problems with the baby)? Which means 97% of abortions are due to pretty much the baby is an inconvenience. 97% of abortion is abortion on demand- meaning they have no reason for it. (Ok, yes every woman has a “reason”, but not the medical problems, mother’s health, or rape reasons.)

Did you know Planned Parenthood helps cover up sex trafficking?

Sometimes pro-choicers say that if you’re prolife you’re anti-woman- and if you’re a prolife woman you’re a woman trying to suppress women, that you’re pro-baby and don’t care about the women.

That’s not true. I am a prolife young woman and I am not anti-woman. And I do care about the women. I will not support their decision to abort, but if they do, I will not hate them. Because what is that really gunna do? Not much in the way of helping them.

I do care deeply about the unborn, but once they’re born I don’t simply not care. I hate hearing about little kids that are abused, treated like trash. It’s not right. But neither is abortion.

Abortion is not the answer to an unwanted/unplanned pregnancy. I would have to say the majority of women who have an abortion regret it. Some don’t for years, while others are so full of guilt they get seriously messed up. But either way, there is forgiveness if one has had an abortion. Unfortunately, there are those who will judge and hate. But I won’t.

Every abortion stops a beating heart.

All the above in italics is what I wrote in response to the letter addressed Jessica. In April 2011. I could just write something else, but I thought copying it would work, because even though it’s almost three years old, my stance is still the same.

See, I’m not some anti-women, pro-unborn, anti-baby nut. I care about the women- my heart breaks for them that they’re even in the position to feel abortion is the right option. I wish there was a home for every child. I wish parents would grow the fuck up and actually be parents instead of neglecting their children for drugs and alcohol and God knows what else.

So let us not judge someone by their belief just because a lot of people claim a title without knowing shit what it means.

Women Support Women

For every decision.

Or not.

I saw this comment on Facebook earlier, and it just rubbed me the wrong way.

“Women should support women no matter what they choose. Christian or not.”

Um. Okay, first off, nobody supports anybody 100%. Or at least I don’t. I’m not being judgmental, or hateful- or any other word you can throw at me.

Seriously though, look at the people in your life, women or not, and do you support everything 100%? I could be wrong, maybe you do. Maybe it’s just me.

I feel like I’m rambling now and my point is going to be missed. So let me just say it:

Support and love are two different things. Let’s not confuse the two.

 Support means to agree with or approve of.

Love is loving them regardless of what they do; love is respecting the fact they are allowed to do as they will. But it doesn’t always necessarily mean you will support their decision/choice.

This statement that started this was in relation to abortion. I know, a very controversial topic. Which I don’t mind because I do controversial.

I am very passionately pro-life. (I’ll post on this later, so please don’t immediately dismiss me as some nutjob.)

I will not support any woman’s choice to abort. I will do what I can to help her choose life for the unborn baby growing rapidly within her womb (heaven forbid I don’t immediately cough up the cash and drive her to the clinic!). I.will.not.support the decision to abort. I will still love her; I will still be there for her. (I won’t go with her to the abortion clinic because I will not in any way help her with the abortion. I will be there for her after, but I will not walk her down that path.)

I will not hate or condemn her for choosing abortion. But I will still love her.

You see what I’m saying here? Love and support are two different things.

I won’t take my brother to buy drugs, but I won’t abandon him if he does. And no, my brothers do not do drugs. Regardless of drug use, I will still love them. I will not support their decision, nor help them, but the love remains.

Love and support, they’re different.