Single Mom: To date or not to date?

So last night I was in search of single mom groups in my area. I really feel like I could use the support especially since Clayton’s death. A lot of what popped up was dating sites and articles about single moms dating.

One article in particular (which I’m not linking to because it was so disgusting) made me feel pretty terrible. It was saying that any woman to have a baby outside of wedlock are idiots. That having a baby outside of an established relationship a terrible idea. And while I do believe marriage is the best place to have children, I don’t regret my daughter. Marriages fail- divorce is rampant. Unfortunately.

That single moms don’t care about their child’s future or well-being, that the child will do poorly in life (depression, drug abuse, jail, suicide, emotional problems, lower education problems, etc). That hit the hardest. During my pregnancy all I could think about was my baby’s future (I still do). I want to give her the best. And the idea of her dealing with such problems, ugh. It breaks my heart. But you know what? Even if Clayton and I had married, he still died. I’d still be a single mom, although this article started out saying widowed moms aren’t single moms. That they are widowed and to call them single would insult his memory, her, and her children.

Well, what about a single mom who was dating the daddy, and he died? Where do I fit in? Am I a woman to steer clear of for my single mom status? Clayton and I had been back together (we had officially called in two months prior to his death), and we were working out issues, and mending us.

I’m not ready to even begin dating again, but even when I do, I am not looking for a daddy for her. Her daddy died. He cannot be replaced. When I do begin dating, I’m not looking to replace him. No other man can ever be him. I do hope that I will one day find a man who loves my baby, and cares for her as his own. Just as my brother in law has done with my niece.

That single moms should have an abortion instead of bringing a child into this world. That a single mom has screwed up, most she can do is not screw up her child’s life (because killing your child doesn’t screw up their life). I absolutely do not feel like I screwed up my life by having a baby. Yes, things have changed a lot, but I would not call it screwed up. I sincerely hope I am a good mom and don’t screw up my child. Because, yes, married couples can screw up their child’s life. It isn’t just single moms capable of that.

That being a single mom makes you a bad decision maker; that having a baby out of wedlock is the worst decision you could have made. Having a baby out of wedlock was not the worst decision I’ve made, and being a single mom definitely doesn’t make me a bad decision maker.

It also says that while men don’t mind a woman’s sexual history, he doesn’t want her uterus to have been occupied before him because he doesn’t want to compete with a baby daddy. (Yet, if she had an abortion, that uterus has still been occupied and there is still a baby daddy out there.) And if a woman has a long list of lovers, or anyone serious in her past, I think at times the occasional thought of “am I competing against someone?” may cross his mind. Of course, I could be way off base here.

The article also went on briefly about divorced moms- look out for their flaw because it’s there! Bashing women and basically saying how the divorce is the fault of the woman and she must be controlling or some other major flaw. And, heaven forbid the husband was abusive, an addict or some other major deal, well that woman was clearly a moron for even getting together with him.

Was I a moron for dating Clayton, an alcoholic? Well, this ties in with decision making, I reckon. It wasn’t the best decision. Unfortunately, by the time I realized he was an alcoholic, I had already fallen in love with him, and I couldn’t leave him. Although I did try. I always went back because I needed to know he was okay. In the long run, he wasn’t okay, he died. As much as I tried to help him, I couldn’t. My love couldn’t save him.

I think the only thing I agreed with was be cautious of a woman who will take absolutely none of the blame for her failed relationship. No one party is entirely innocent.

If I am not dateable due to having a child, fine.

In another article by the same woman (yes a woman wrote this), she says hell yeah to dating single dads, because they are responsible and put the child first, that single moms absolutely do not.

Excuse me, but my daughter does come first. Every decision I make, I think about her. All I do is think about her! How to raise her to be a strong, capable woman with a compassionate heart. How to care for her, how to set a good example for her.

I don’t think refusing to date a woman due to her motherhood status is a good reason to avoid dating her. If you’re opposed to having children, by all means, do not date her.

But the same goes for a woman. If she’s opposed to having children, do not date a (single) father.

When Clayton and I first got together and I found out he had a daughter, I was kind of disappointed. I love children and have always wanted children. But, for some reason, it just wasn’t something I wanted to hear. But then decided he wasn’t serious about me, and we were just hanging out to hook up, it didn’t matter. I wouldn’t have dated him if he wanted to be serious since I didn’t like the idea of a kid.

By the first month’s end, I really didn’t care he had a daughter. And a few months later, I finally met her, and she was just adorable. He was pleased she and I both liked each other, and I was relieved she liked me. Little kids can be funny.

Anyway, one more thing. The idea of dating as a single mom actually scares me. I have read so many heartbreaking stories of a single mom’s boyfriend beating, molesting, even killing her child. When I do date, the boyfriend will not be watching my baby girl. He won’t be my free babysitter (something some of the article’s commenters were saying single moms do, use the man she’s dating to watch their kids).

The idea of another man watching my baby girl terrifies me. It will take a lot to entrust him with the most precious thing to me. And that’s only after I know his character well. Of course, there are some men (women too) who can hide their true self. The BTK serial killer is a prime example.

Not all single moms are great. Some are horrible. But so are some married moms.

#BlackLivesMatter

There are two reasons I don’t like the hashtag #BlackLivesMatter.

1. I think it causes even more of a racial divide, and that’s not good. We’re trying to end racism. How can we end something if we’re focusing on the importance of black lives, while saying “white privilege” to the next? And, okay, what exactly is “white privilege”? I’m white, but in no way at all am I more privileged because of my white skin. I can still be creeped out walking alone in a bad area. Because white girls get raped, too. I don’t get paid more an hour because I’m white; in fact, I’d get fired quicker than a black girl because I couldn’t cry racism played a part in it. I’m honestly not getting what “white privilege” means. I’m not in college…because I can’t afford it. I could go on.
2. Every single life matters. I know, I’ve heard it over a dozen times- “if you’re one of the people who say every life matters you’re part of the problem.” I don’t agree with that. Why? Because I am recognizing the importance of all lives and you’re focusing on black lives only.

This is not about ending racism and showing the value of black lives. Or at least that’s not what the media is doing. Behind the scenes, I’m sure- I hope- there is more. But what is being shown, and even from white black-lives-matter activists, it’s all I see. All I see is “police shoot black…”.

Excuse me, but when an officer is attacked by a black man, where are you, the activists and media, then? When a black man shoots another black man, where are the activists and media? When a black man rapes a white woman, where are the activists and media? When a black woman aborts her baby, where are the activists and media? When a black man kills a white man, where are the activists and media?

Oh right. The activists and media only focus on whites hurting/killing blacks. They ignore the rest. Because it doesn’t further their cause. They ignore black on black crime. They say black lives matter, they scream it from the top- but are utterly, totally silent on the thousands of black babies who are aborted. I thought black lives matter? Why so silent on those innocent deaths? (I know why for those who are pro-choice, but the ones who are pro-life- why are you silent about it, hm?)

I am not racist, although you may not believe me because I’m not in support of #BlackLivesMatter. I don’t care what color your skin is. And, I wouldn’t say that every black individual that has been the victim of a police shooting was done by a racist cop either. I know, I know. “Well whites don’t get shot, the police just arrest them.” Have you ever seriously stopped and thought that: this is a different police officer, a different city/state, and no situation is exactly the same? There are differences, some big, some small. If the same officer that shot a black person, was in another very similar situation only with a white person instead, and didn’t fire his gun, then yeah. Maybe he is a racist cop.

We got to stop saying every cop who shoots a black person is racist. That’s not true. Just like it’s not true that all cops are bad; you do have your good cops, too. Just as blacks don’t want to lumped into a bowl of “criminals” based off color, let’s not lump all officers into a bowl of “bad.”

I don’t believe we can ever end racism. I don’t believe we’re ever going to change some people’s hearts. What I hope we can end is racial violence (and this goes all the way across the board; black on white, white on black, including Mexicans, etc- all races can be racist towards any race and have racial violence).

Racial violence needs to stop.

We are all human; we all bleed red.

Words Do Not Always Mean Action

I wholeheartedly agree with that. Unfortunately, the person who posted this on her Facebook, doesn’t truly believe in this.

How can I say this? Because she is constantly bashing people who struggle with the decision to vaccinate their kids, people who decide not to.

I myself am unsure how I feel about vaccines. I do feel that six shots for a two month old is a bit much on their small immune system.

I know- the measles outbreak! Vaccinated people can go overseas, and bring it back with them. It is NOT just unvaccinated kids who can carry diseases. It just means the unvaccinated are more prone to the measles, etc.

But this isn’t the post about that.

She posted this in support of the homosexual lifestyle, I’m sure of it.

It just irks me how people pretend to be so tolerating, but in actuality, are some of the most judgmental.

“Oh, you’re against abortion? You are anti-women!”

“Oh, you don’t support gay marriage? You are anti-equality! You are a homophobe!” (Not that it matters many people have no problem with gays in general, they just don’t support “gay marriage”.)

“Oh, you believe in the Bible? You’re a close-minded bigot.”

The majority of people I know, and the people I’ve seen bickering on Facebook posts, posts photos/quotes like this, but don’t actually believe it across the board. It has limits.

I have no problem with being different. If people believe differently. Who cares. I don’t attack people for it. But I’ve been attacked because I believe differently than them.

Funny world.

Confused Minds

Leads to jumbled thoughts.

I hear so much of “it’s my body, my choice”, “you’re not a woman, you have no right”, “unless you experience it, you can’t talk”, “it doesn’t involve you, so keep your mouth shut”, “the woman didn’t want to be a mother after all, and nobody can make her. It’s her decision.”, etc.

And I just sit here, thinking, to what extent does this go??

My body, my choice. Got’cha. But, how far does your choice triumph? Where does this mantra end? I’m not sitting behind my laptop screen being sarcastic, I am actually wondering.

There are restrictions. Sure, it’s my body, my choice, but there are still restrictions. Drugs (the illegal ones, even then you need a prescription for others). Drinking and driving. Your choice to drink, but there are/can be consequences to driving.

You have sex, pregnancy can happen. Maybe it wasn’t your choice to get pregnant, but your choice to participate in sex led to now pregnancy. So then it becomes “my body, my choice” and it’s perfectly A-OK to have an abortion. But what about the new life now rapidly growing in your womb?

“If I’m forced to stay pregnant, I’m just an incubator.” No, not at all. You are still a wonderfully unique woman who created life. But in the name of “empowerment” you want an abortion. How does killing the fetus empower women?

You’re not a woman, you have no right. I’m calling bullshit on this one. First all, women of the pro-choice stance are gung-ho with pro-choice men joining in on their right to abortion on demand cause. That’s why women are okay with the fact it was men who legalized abortion.

But abortion doesn’t affect just women. It affects men. And you can’t admonish pro-life men, without being highly hypocritical for letting, encouraging even, pro-choice men to take a stand.

Think about slavery. It didn’t affect whites, but whites took a stand opposing it. Were they in the wrong since, ya know, they weren’t slaves, and they had no right?

“The woman didn’t want to be a mother after all, and nobody can make her. It’s her decision.”

What about the couple who decided on creating a family? Why doesn’t the father get a say? Because it forces her to become an “incubator”? They decided together on the family, yet she alone gets to decide to end it? But that’s perfectly okay, isn’t it? Her body, her choice. Who cares how he feels.

But turn the table, and he no longer wants to be a father after all. Except he can’t get the abortion. He’s either stuck with a child and the responsibility he doesn’t want, or he can sneak her the abortion pill- and then face criminal charges.

Which brings me to this: how can it be criminal charges if it was just a “blob of tissue” and “not alive” anyway? How can it be double homicide if someone kills a woman and her unborn child? How can this be? Why the huge double standard?

If a woman decides to have an abortion for whatever reason, she gets away with it, and it’s perfectly okay, because she did the right thing for herself.

If a father decides he wants her to have an abortion, he’s suddenly a deadbeat dad, a horrible person, etc.

A woman gets an abortion, and is done. A man wants the abortion, but can’t have it. But is stuck paying for the child. It amazes me how it’s so okay for it be so messed up.

Unless you experience it, you can’t talk. Again, whites spoke against slavery, yet weren’t slaves. I never experienced child abuse, but I can for sure speak out against it. Nobody who says abortion is wrong is saying your situation is easy. (At least I hope as pro-lifers we can acknowledge that.)

Can we say for sure what we would do if in a horrible situation and ended up pregnant? No, I guess not. But some people truly do know themselves, and I personally know that no matter my situation, I would not abort my child. I just wouldn’t. Yell at me, tell me whatever it is you need to, but it won’t change my stance. Because I know myself.

It doesn’t involve you, so keep your mouth shut. A lot of things do not personally involve your neighbor, the community, the state, or whatever. Take for instance, that meth head next door. But he can be dangerous, so it kinda might involve you. You might want to look out for the people around you, and get the police involved.

That man beating his dog? Nah, it doesn’t involve you. But you care, don’t you? So you step in.

You find out your daughter’s classmate is being physically beaten, raped. It doesn’t concern you. But you step in.

No, your neighbor seeking an abortion doesn’t involve you, but again, it concerns you. You step in.

Just because it isn’t you personally, doesn’t mean you don’t care. Doesn’t mean you’re not affected.

So yeah, pro-lifers step in. Yeah, we want to change this abortion on demand. It isn’t about forcing our view on you, it isn’t about hating women. It’s because we care. And I know some random stranger’s abortion doesn’t involve me, but neither does the random stranger beating his dog involve me either.

I thought I understood the pro-choice side pretty well, but I read blogs, articles- and I’m just left with this. (All of the above.) I’m not close-minded, quite open-minded actually, but I just cannot grasp some of these quotes.

I’m going to close here in a minute, but I would also like to add that changing the abortion laws won’t change hearts. It won’t suddenly make unwanted pregnancies cease. It won’t make bad situations better. But rather than offering abortion to get rid of unwanted pregnancies, we step up and pitch in to help.

Instead of offering abortion to a woman being abused, we get her away from her abuser.

Instead of offering abortion to a teenaged girl whose parents gave her an ultimatum, we take her in.

Abortion truly has become an “easy” fix. It didn’t take away the problems. It didn’t empower women.

 

*This is a long post for me, and I thank you to those who actually read it to the end. I can’t promise I won’t ever post another entry about abortion again, so bear with me. Or don’t. But it is my blog, and I tend to share what’s on my mind, soo. Yeah, this topic may come up again. But for now, I think I got the majority of it out of my brain. These five quotes are the five I just can’t seem to wrap my head around. So this is me, thinking…And I know my above arguments can be counter-argued, but I seriously haven’t heard one that made enough sense for me to reconsider my stance on this.

Things I Believe

And I don’t care if you don’t.

It doesn’t change what I believe. I’m not going to force my beliefs down anyone’s throat.

1.     I believe in God. Okay, okay, I know. A huge amount of people believe in “God” or “a God”. Some people believe in a Higher Power- something or someone above us humans. I believe in God of the Bible. And I believe in His Son, Jesus. But I’m not going to try to convince someone to change their way of thinking/believing to match my own. I’ll respect you, you respect me.

I do have a problem with this “no God in schools” thing though. It is downright ridiculous. Not every school is the same, I’m not saying that. But there are kids who get sent home for praying at lunch, kids who get told they can’t sit off by themselves during meal time or break or free time, and have a Bible study. That group isn’t forcing anyone to participate, but yet they’re told they cannot have the meeting, or pray, or even open a Bible on school grounds because it might offend someone. Excuse me? Something will always offend someone. Get over it. Grow up.

Or if a kid wears a “Christian” shirt he gets sent home. Why? Are all graphic t’s not allowed? Ok, I understand. But graphic t’s are allowed and it’s censorship, and uncalled for.

Why is the public school system so intolerant of Christianity? I just don’t get it.

2.     I believe that YOU are in charge of your own happiness, and if you cannot reach some sort of peace/happiness while alone, you can never fully enter into a relationship and bring the best to the table. If you need someone to complete you, you’re lacking something. And if you’re lacking something, how can you really be your best for another person?

Happiness isn’t some destination you’re ever going to find, come to. Because happiness comes and goes. Happiness is a decision. It’s a decision just like commitment, contentment. You don’t reach the end of a long, hard road, and bam! Permanent happiness. That doesn’t happen. And you definitely won’t find it in someone else.

I’m not saying you won’t find someone who thrills you beyond what you ever achieved on your own. Because I personally get extra happy when I’m with my family. Just being with them, lifts my spirits. But I do firmly believe you need to know how to be happy before you try to get into a serious relationship. You don’t wanna drain someone empty, drag them down. And that’s what will happen. If they are your source, they will get rundown.

3.     I believe people CAN change, but most don’t because it’s hard, and they feel it’s easier to go on living the same way then to truly put in the effort to change. Changing is not easy, it’s painful. And in general, we would rather cry at who we are, then change and be who we want. It ain’t easy even admitting we need to change. And then, once we actually confront ourselves and set about changing, we fail. We get discouraged. People learn of our shortcomings, and then we’re judged. “Oh well I thought you had changed” and other snide comments.

Yeah, it’s definitely easier to just stay the same.

But let me clarify- change for the good. Anybody can go from good to bad, but changing for the good is harder. Like this…he decided to try drugs, ya know what’s the harm? Then he gets hooked. Yeah, ya bet changing a drug habit around is harder than actually getting into that drug habit.

4.      I believe that abortion is taking a life. Actually, science, and even abortionists, will admit it. I have heard all the arguments for abortion, but none justify killing the new little person.

Rape? Wait, we now kill children for sins of the father?

High-risk? So…inducing labor and delivering a dead baby isn’t risky?

Ectopic? Touchy…but not the same. It’s not done to get rid of the baby. It’s done to save the mom’s life, and aborting the baby is the outcome. Intentionally killing a baby and doing it to save the mom’s life-not the same. And in most ectopic pregnancies, by the time the procedure is even done, the baby has died anyway.

Decided not to be a mom anymore? Um, right. Because that works so well for the parents who decide to kill their children.

And numerous other reasons. I just cannot justify abortion. I know other people can, and will. I know I will be judged and ridiculed for my belief on this, but I just don’t care.

I actually have a friend who I just recently learned is pro-choice…sometimes. We talked, shared our reasons. And neither of us got pissed, or thought less of another. Just two people with a differing view. OMG! It happens.

5.     I believe that when you’re depressed, you need to avoid depressing pictures, music, quotes, movies- all that depressing jazz. It only makes it worse, and that’s not healthy. It’s okay to be depressed for a little while, but don’t wallow, and get stuck. Find the silver lining, and learn to smile again. You are special.

 

Okay, there ya go. Five things I believe. A long post, so I hope you managed to get through it…I do enjoy learning others viewpoints, so don’t be shy. Be respectful, but don’t be shy. I’m not one to get angry if you don’t see my point of view, so if you have something to say, I’ll read!

Self-Pity Parties

Grow the fuck up.

So this is going to a be rant of day 10 in my 30 day challenge: Write about something in which you feel strongly.

I have intentionally not written anything yet because I wanted to write about something I haven’t really touched on. I’ve written my abortion related posts and decided, that while I do feel strongly on the issue, I won’t go in to that. I think I’ve basically said all that needs to be said, until I find more content that I feel like addressing. But for now, I’m going to focus on something else.

I somehow happened upon the “depression” tagline on Instagram. It gave me a warning before I proceeded to see picture after picture of depressed teenagers posting self-mutilation, whether it be of the actual deed, or pictures using words.

Pictures like: 1,000 likes and I’ll flush my blades, I’m so fat- look at my thighs, I cut today, etc. etc.

For starters, this 13-year-old girl was crying about being so fat. Her thighs barely touched on top, and my golly, that was still too much. She must be fat if her thigh gap wasn’t entirely (w)hole. Then, to top it off, she cries “I am so fat! I weigh 95lbs, why is it so hard to weigh 85? I’m 5’5, my ideal weight is 85lbs. I’m so fat!!”

What the actual fuck?? You are 95-fucking-pounds, and you are fat?? You’re 5’5, I think you look anorexic, I’m sure. I seriously do not understand why we let society dictate our lives so very much. We are society, so how about you step out of everyone else’s thumb, and love yourself. Unless you’re unhealthy, in that case start eating healthy and do some cardio or squats or something.

Here’s another lie worded picture going around: No one cares. They’re just pretending.

Kids, adults alike! Please. Just stop it. Get your head out of your own ass for five minutes.

Let us remember that even in our depression, there are people who care. We’re the ones pushing them away with shit like that. You post a status on Facebook about how nobody cares, and your best friend reads it, and while commenting how much s/he loves you, is questioning themselves. They love you! They want to be there for you, but you continuously push them away with hurtful post and status updates.

No, maybe they’ve never gone through what you are going through, and no, maybe they don’t always know what to say. Maybe they just pat your back, or look at you. But they fucking care about you. They want to help you, but feel powerless to do so. And you with shit like “nobody cares” pushes them further away.

Stop bitching about how nobody cares and loves you, when there is someone who cares and loves you. It might feel like it some days, but keep it to yourself.

I found this on the internet too: We worry too much, we always focus on the bad and ignore the good in life. We never take a minute and realize that people do care about us. And people love us. We always feel broken, and unwanted. But we’re wrong.

It’s quite, sadly, true.

My baby brother died when I was 15 years old. None of my friends knew what I was going through. Their words didn’t necessarily make it any easier, but it did remind me that they cared I was hurting. There are days it still hurts like hell that he’s not here. I go to my parents and sometimes, a pang of powerful sadness hits me: no 7-year-old boy is running around.

But I couldn’t wallow in it forever. I have my 8 other siblings to love, to get to know better. That are still here.

Losing him was-is- a horrible part of life, but I cannot focus on that for forever. I need to see the good- and that’s my other siblings.

Two years ago, I loved and lost. I was severely depressed. I still have scars from cutting. I felt so broken and alone and unwanted. I was broken, but I eventually mended, healed.

But I was never alone. I still had my best friend, while thousands of miles away, who cared and was always there for me. Even though I know it had to get annoying, she never told me to stop talking about it.

I was not unwanted. I was just unwanted by the man I wanted.

And I know everyone is going through their own thing, and my two personal experiences are not yours. But the brokenness we feel, the loneliness, the depression, it’s all there. It’s real.

We just need to know at some point we need to stand up, lift our eyes from the ground and focus on the good things. Count your blessings. Use a notebook and write down everything good. No matter how little it may seem. Go get a hair cut, or buy a new book.

But please, let us stop getting stuck forever in a pit of depression. I remained in mine for a good six months before I knew something needed to change. I don’t know about you, but I cannot live my life depressed. Nor could I kill myself. Nor could I keep being miserable. So I started looking for the good.

The Big Abortion

Arguments Against Abortion

I’ve been searching blogs about abortion. I’ve been reading, even commented on a few. But none stirred this post more than this one. She gives a good argument, she’s thought over her opinions. Yet, I feel that there’s a perfectly good response to every.single.one of her reasons for being “pro-choice.”

Which let me touch on that real quick. Pro-choice and pro-abortion are, indeed, the same. Pro-lifers get called anti-abortion all the time, so how does pro-choice and pro-abortion not connect? Further on this though, not everyone who is anti-abortion is pro-life. All pro-lifers are anti-abortion, but anti-abortion is just that: against abortion. Pro-lifers go beyond just being against abortion. They care about the mom, the baby past birth. They’re for life in general.

Pro-choice is for abortion being legalized. It is for abortion. Are all pro-choicers abortion crazy? No, of course not. But pro-choice is pro-abortion. You are for the choice of choosing abortion.

Now, I’m going to address her arguments for abortion by arguments against abortion.

“Abortion is not murder until the third trimester.” The reason? Life doesn’t begin until the third trimester. Which is a lie. Science clearly states life begins at conception.

“The Official Senate report on Senate Bill 158, the “Human Life Bill,” summarized the issue this way:

Physicians, biologists, and other scientists agree that conception marks the beginning of the life of a human being—a being that is alive and is a member of the human species. There is overwhelming agreement on this point in countless medical, biological, and scientific writings.”

If that quote isn’t enough for you, Google it.

Read stories about women who go into early labor, say 19 weeks, and her baby is born alive. Its lungs are too underdeveloped, and  we can’t save one so young, but watch the baby struggle to breathe before, finally, death takes over. That baby was alive. You cannot tell anyone any differently. You can’t say it wasn’t alive, that it wasn’t human. Well, you can. But that’d be a lie.

And no, it’s not “murder” by legal definition. But abortion is most definitely killing a baby. Fetus. Whatever fits your fancy. Abortion does kill.

“Roe v Wade.” First off, slavery was once legal. Shall we then just accept slavery? No, we ended it. (Sort of. Slavery still exists today. But should it be legal? Fuck no.)

Let me also inform you that abortion is legal up to all nine months of pregnancy. And not just for “emergency situations.” Unless you call deciding you no longer want you baby an emergency. Or that having Down’s Syndrome is an emergency.

“It’s not my body, and it’s not my mind.” No, it’s not your mind. But that baby- fetus- she’s aborting is not her “body” either. A baby is not a tumor, it’s not tonsils, or wisdom teeth you’re having extracted. A baby is a new little human, growing in your womb because that’s where human life starts. Sex=reproduction. Obviously I understand sex isn’t always engaged in for reproduction reasons, but anyone with an ounce of knowledge of such things, knows sex is what causes pregnancy, a new life to begin.

Women can’t even choose to sell sex, without getting in trouble for it. Because it’s illegal. It’s her body, and hey, she just wants some cash. But using her body to earn cash is illegal. A woman cannot inject heroin into her body without facing prison time if caught.

Omg! Women can’t choose what to do with their body, there’s fucking limitations on it!!

“Making abortions illegal will not stop abortion.” Um no. But even legal abortion is not safe. Legal abortion stills harms women. It still kills women. Again, heroin is illegal. But people still use it. Let’s just make it legal, okay? Sounds good right.

People still kill their neighbor, let’s just make murder legal, okay?

Adults still molest children, but hey it’s illegal and still happens, so let’s legalize that.

People abuse their animals and kids, despite facing time for it if caught. But hey, let’s just make it entirely legal so our legal system gets to take a nap from all this crime.

Legal does not make it safe. Legal does not make it right. The law does not dictate what is right and wrong. I mean, if it does it means abortion was once wrong. Omg, y’all changed the law! Y’all changed wrong and right! That’s incredible.

Abortion is already dangerous to women. Except nobody hears about the damaged uterus, and the woman who can never have children after her abortion.

Nobody hears about the 15 year old girl who is repeatedly raped by her uncle, and Planned Parenthood covers up the rape by performing abortion after abortion and never alerting the authorities.

Nobody hears about the woman who desperately wants her baby but her husband forces her to have the abortion, and every day it haunts her.

Abortion is harmful. It is dangerous.

“Adoption isn’t the best option in all cases.” Our foster care system is so fucked up. But how dare it be said MOST kids adopted end up abused. That is so beyond true, it’s sickening. Children born into families end up abused, too. Just because someone is adopted does not mean they’re abused.

Secondly, should we kill these children in the system because they’re going to abused, and they shouldn’t have been born anyway? No, just fuck no. Parents are the ones who should be accountable, not these children. “Oh, mommy doesn’t want you, so let’s just kill you.” That doesn’t work when her baby is 2 years old, so why should it work when she’s pregnant?

Don’t want a baby but found yourself pregnant? Take the 9 months to search for an adoptive family. Make it an open adoption so you can check in on your baby.

So many of the kids in the system are there because parents are fucked up, and won’t fix up their life to actually be parents.

I don’t “respect” the choice to abort. I respect women. But abortion is killing, and I don’t respect killing. Do I hate or judge the woman who had an abortion? No, I don’t. Actually, my heart breaks for her, and the little life now gone.

Roe v Wade legalized abortion on demand. Abortion for any and whatever reason. Before Roe v Wade, abortions were still available in “emergency situations” (to save the life of the mom).

Abortion is not safe, for mom or baby. Abortion covers up abuse. Abortion scars, physically and emotionally.

This Won’t Be Necessary

I’m really not being arrogant.

I like my blog title, and the tagline, “moody and sometimes offensive”. I think it pretty much sums my blog up.

And just hit me- my blog is a personal blog. Like, you got your health food blogs, your comedy blogs, your fitness blogs, your art blogs- you get the idea. Mine is just…me. It’s personal. It doesn’t just cover one topic, it goes over, and will continue to do so, a wide variety of subjects.

And for anyone who knows me, I am extremely moody. Out of my nine sisters and brothers, I am most likely the moodiest. And I can be offensive. Or maybe just controversial. I talk about (or will talk about) abortion, religion/God, gay marriage, marijuana, blah blah. And we all know abortion and religion are two highly touchy subjects. As are politics. But I can cover that another time.

And just for the record, I applied for a job as a CNA at a place a couple miles down from my apartment. Thoughts/prayers I get it! I’m super excited to be entering a new phase of my life, and really hope it starts sooner than later. I want to be a CNA so badly.

Passion

I am a very passionate person.

I think it annoys people sometimes, because I am always so passionate. But I don’t understand how people can be so “blah” about life. It doesn’t matter what it is, I am passionate. It doesn’t matter if I agree or disagree, I am passionate.

I speak my mind. I don’t care if someone agrees or disagrees- if someone gets offended. Everybody gets offended over something, and to live my life trying never to offend anybody? Fuck that. Now, don’t mistake that with me setting out to offend people. ‘Cause that’s not what I’m about. I just won’t remain silent because someone may be offended over what I got to say, but my intent isn’t to intentionally offend someone.

And honestly, I’ve met a few people I can be passionate with, even though their views differ widely from mine. And neither of us got upset. We were enjoying an honest debate with no hate, explaining why we believe/feel what we do.

Trust me, the two debates tend to get quite heated in general: religion, and abortion. I wasn’t trying to change their mind, nor they mine. We just talked. Which, in case you didn’t know, debating (respectfully, and actually having both parties get their entire thoughts out) is very healthy. It gives you things to think about, strengthens you in your stance- or gives you reason to assess it better. Whatever. Every time I debate, I do so with an open mind, and usually learn more about the other side, and further learn to relate to people better, and present my “case” better.

Okay, I’ve gone off topic.

I feel strongly about many things. From abortion, to Smallville, to marijuana, to books- blah blah. Guarantee you mention something, and I’ll have a passionate response for you.

And when I met people who are just like meh, I don’t think about it, I’m just like OMG how do you NOT?! I’m not trying to be judgmental here, but when I met people who lack passion, they lack conversation, and I thrive on conversation. I need conversation. I can usually carry on pretty well, but well, eventually I want some feedback. I want you to respond back to me. Otherwise I may as well shut up.

Guys. We ladies all know guys don’t talk that much, or most guys. I’ve met a few who talk more than me. And I talk a lot, so that’s kinda scary actually.

Anyways. I cannot be with a guy who doesn’t talk to me. I can’t be with a guy who barely responds when I run off on some crazy topic. I can’t be with a guy who doesn’t bring up random shit.

I am a girl who needs: sex, food, and conversation in a relationship. Those are the three most important things. Okay, so not the only important things- I need a guy who visits with my family and for the most part, enjoys them. And I need my back scratched, and to be cuddled. And definitely my man better have some mechanic knowledge because I’d love not to have to call my dad every time for a car problem.

I don’t need roses and chocolate. I don’t need romantic dinners out, or the nicest things. Most of what I need is free- except for food. But I’ll settle for fast food and pizza.

And yeah. I’m basically rambling here, and completely lost all train of thought of where this blog was headed.

I am passionate- and I simply don’t understand how others just live with a “meh” attitude.

Dear Prolife Crazies

The letter began.

I know this may come as a shock to you so you may want to go grab a bible for some support… as long a women have been getting pregnant, they’ve been having abortions. You’re fighting a pointless battle. No matter if you out law it and bomb every clinic in the world, abortion will still happen. …Always has always will. Period. So really stop bitching over something that will never change. Please, use all that effort and fix something that can change, like world hunger, or the economy.

Love, Pro-Choice.” ~Jessica G.

A complete copy of what was written by this Jessica, who I have no idea is.

My letter in response:

Dear Pro-Choicers,

You said “pro-life crazies.” First off, I am not a crazy person for being pro-life. Yes, some can be kinda nuts. But um, so are some pro-choicers. You got some crazies pretty much on every side of anything, ya know?

Secondly “grab a bible for support”, some pro-lifers are not Christian, Catholic or of any religion really. While yes, most pro-lifers do believe in God, not every single one does. And some even get annoyed when God is brought up. You don’t have to believe in God or religion to know that abortion is wrong.

 Thirdly, it’s not a “pointless battle”. Every life saved is a win. It may be a never-ending battle, but we have small victories. Never give up in fighting for the unborn. Again, every life saved is worth the battle. 

 Granted, abortion even before being legal was happening. Much less though. And if we ban it, it will still happen. But much less. Yeah, there will still be abortions, but it won’t be abortion-on-demand.

 As for “use all that effort and fix something that can change, like world hunger” I can only say world hunger will always be around. We can try to fix it, but we can’t. It’s a fallen world, and we can try to feed everyone, but we really can’t. It’s sad, I know. It hurts thinking of all those starving children. We can try and feed them all, but we’ll never reach every single one. I guess you could call that a “pointless battle” as well. But we’re still gunna keep trying. Every child fed is a small victory.

 “Or the economy”. Huh…I thought our president Obama promised that for us.

Love, Pro-life

Please note the sarcasm in the last line.

 

Ok so, I know abortion is legal. I get that. But did you know that with the legalization of abortion child abuse has risen?

Did you know that it’s like 3% of abortions are due to hard cases (like, rape, incest, mother’s health/life and medical problems with the baby)? Which means 97% of abortions are due to pretty much the baby is an inconvenience. 97% of abortion is abortion on demand- meaning they have no reason for it. (Ok, yes every woman has a “reason”, but not the medical problems, mother’s health, or rape reasons.)

Did you know Planned Parenthood helps cover up sex trafficking?

Sometimes pro-choicers say that if you’re prolife you’re anti-woman- and if you’re a prolife woman you’re a woman trying to suppress women, that you’re pro-baby and don’t care about the women.

That’s not true. I am a prolife young woman and I am not anti-woman. And I do care about the women. I will not support their decision to abort, but if they do, I will not hate them. Because what is that really gunna do? Not much in the way of helping them.

I do care deeply about the unborn, but once they’re born I don’t simply not care. I hate hearing about little kids that are abused, treated like trash. It’s not right. But neither is abortion.

Abortion is not the answer to an unwanted/unplanned pregnancy. I would have to say the majority of women who have an abortion regret it. Some don’t for years, while others are so full of guilt they get seriously messed up. But either way, there is forgiveness if one has had an abortion. Unfortunately, there are those who will judge and hate. But I won’t.

Every abortion stops a beating heart.

All the above in italics is what I wrote in response to the letter addressed Jessica. In April 2011. I could just write something else, but I thought copying it would work, because even though it’s almost three years old, my stance is still the same.

See, I’m not some anti-women, pro-unborn, anti-baby nut. I care about the women- my heart breaks for them that they’re even in the position to feel abortion is the right option. I wish there was a home for every child. I wish parents would grow the fuck up and actually be parents instead of neglecting their children for drugs and alcohol and God knows what else.

So let us not judge someone by their belief just because a lot of people claim a title without knowing shit what it means.